99 Terrible Dad Jokes: The Most Eye-Roll Worthy Jokes

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Post on Apr 02, 2025

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99 Terrible Dad Jokes: The Most Eye-Roll-Worthy Jokes You'll Ever Hear (and Maybe Even Laugh At)

Let's face it, dad jokes are the epitome of corny humor. They're groan-inducing, predictable, and utterly cheesy. But that's precisely what makes them so endearing (and endlessly shareable!). Prepare for a tsunami of terrible puns, awful one-liners, and jokes so bad, they're actually kind of good. This list contains 99 of the most eye-roll-worthy dad jokes the internet has to offer. Get ready to cringe... and maybe chuckle a little.

The Pun-tastic Parade: Dad Jokes That Will Make You Facepalm

This section is dedicated to the art of the pun, a staple in any dad's comedic arsenal. Prepare for a relentless assault on your senses (and your sense of humor).

1. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
3. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
6. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
7. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
8. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt!
9. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen!
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
11. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
12. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!
13. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
14. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
15. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
16. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!
17. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
18. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
19. What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen? Time to get a new clock!
20. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

More Eye-Roll-Inducing One-Liners: The Dad Joke Classics

This collection brings together classic dad jokes, guaranteed to elicit groans and maybe even a few surprised laughs.

21. I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me.
22. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
23. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
24. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.
25. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
26. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
27. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
28. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
29. I tried to explain to my wife that she needs to relax more. She just rolled her eyes.
30. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
31. How do you make seven even? Subtract the 'S'.
32. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
33. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
34. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
35. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
36. Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
37. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
38. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
39. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
40. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Animal Antics: Dad Jokes Featuring Our Furry, Feathered, and Scaly Friends

These jokes involve our animal companions – and they're just as bad as you'd expect.

41. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
42. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
43. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
44. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
45. Why don't frogs use Twitter? Because they have no thumbs!
46. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
47. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
48. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
49. What did the snail say when he was riding the tortoise? Whee!
50. What's a frog's favorite type of car? A Croak-mobile.

Food for Thought (and Groans): Dad Jokes About Our Favorite Eats

These are jokes about food, and yes, they're as cheesy as Kraft Singles.

51. Why did the orange stop running? Because he ran out of juice.
52. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
53. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
54. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
55. Why did the cookie cry? Because someone dunked him in the milk!
56. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
57. Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool? It wanted to become a meloncholy.
58. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
59. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
60. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

More Dad Jokes: A Never-Ending Supply of Corny Humor

This is just a continuation of the terrible yet strangely captivating dad jokes.

61. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
62. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
63. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
64. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!
65. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
66. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
67. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
68. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
69. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt!
70. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
71. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
72. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
73. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
74. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
75. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
76. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
77. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
78. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
79. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
80. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!

Wordplay Wonders: Dad Jokes That Play with Words

These jokes use wordplay to achieve their comedic effect – prepare for some serious puns.

81. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!
82. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
83. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
84. How do you make seven even? Subtract the 'S'.
85. What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen? Time to get a new clock!
86. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
87. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
88. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
89. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer.
90. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!

A Final Flurry of Fatherly Funnies

Here's the final set of groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing dad jokes to conclude our collection.

91. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
92. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
93. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
94. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
95. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
96. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
97. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
98. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
99. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

So there you have it – 99 terrible dad jokes guaranteed to elicit groans, eye-rolls, and maybe even a few unexpected chuckles. Share them with your friends, family, and anyone who appreciates a good (or bad) pun. Happy laughing (or groaning)!